Wednesday, 26 August 2026

Most marriages collapse from unrealistic expectations – Islamic scholars


<img width="2560" height="1920" src="https://dailypost.ng/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/Islamic-scholars.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://dailypost.ng/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/Islamic-scholars.jpg 2560w, https://dailypost.ng/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/Islamic-scholars-300x225.jpg 300w, https://dailypost.ng/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/Islamic-scholars-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https://dailypost.ng/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/Islamic-scholars-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://dailypost.ng/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/Islamic-scholars-2048x1536.jpg 2048w" sizes="(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px" /> <p>Islamic scholars and counsellors in Ogun State have warned singles against entering marriage without preparation, saying most marital breakdowns start from ignorance and unrealistic expectations.</p> <p>The warning came during a conference on Islamic Marital Reform in Abeokuta, where experts presented data from over 200 marital disputes handled by the Ogun Shariah Arbitration Committee since 2018.</p> <p>The conference, which brought together Islamic scholars, legal practitioners, government officials, counsellors and married couples from across the country, was held under the theme, &#8216;Knowledge, Responsibility, Mercy and Justice in Building Healthy Homes&#8217;.</p> <p>Dr Afiz Musa, Director of Mahdul Baseerah and a member of the Shariah Arbitration Committee, said the cases revealed recurring problems such as lack of mutual understanding, confusion over roles and couples waiting until problems escalate before seeking help.</p> <p>Using anonymised cases, he explained how separating leadership from responsibility could create oppression within homes, while delayed intervention could allow manageable disagreements to develop into serious marital conflicts.</p> <p>&#8220;Separating leadership from responsibility creates oppression in homes. Delayed intervention turns small disagreements into big conflicts,&#8221; he said.</p> <p>Delivering the keynote address, Sulaimon Ogunmuyiwa, Director of Quality Assurance at the Lagos State Ministry of Education, said the strength of a marriage should not be measured by the absence of disagreements but by how couples handle and resolve them.</p> <p>Ogunmuyiwa warned that couples who lack conflict-resolution skills could allow minor disagreements to escalate into prolonged silence, interference from third parties, and threats of divorce.</p> <p>He urged intending couples to seek pre-marital counselling, saying adequate preparation could help them develop the understanding and skills required to build resilient families.</p> <p>Also speaking at the conference which unveiled a program, &#8216;Certificate in Islamic Marriage and Pre-Marriage Studies, CIMPS&#8217;, Siddeeqah Tunde-Lawal, a Fellow of the Institute of Arbitrators and Conciliators, identified what she described as a “rights-only” approach to marriage as a challenge confronting Muslim families.</p> <p>According to her, some spouses become highly conscious of what they are entitled to receive from their partners while paying insufficient attention to their own responsibilities.</p> <p>She identified several misconceptions requiring correction, including the belief that knowing one&#8217;s rights is sufficient, that marital leadership amounts to dictatorship, and that counselling is only necessary when a marriage is already in crisis.</p> <p>Speaking earlier, the Olowu of Owu Kingdom, Oba, Saka Matemilola, while declaring the conference open, commended the Ogun State Government for sustaining the Shariah arbitration system as a mechanism for promoting peace and resolving disputes among Muslim families.</p> <p>The monarch, who was represented by Kamaldeen Akintunde, urged participants to move beyond discussions and implement the solutions presented at the conference, and assured that the state&nbsp;&nbsp;Muslim Council would work with the League of Imams to promote the welfare of Muslim families across the state.</p> <p>At the end of the conference, delegates called for the integration of marital ethics into Islamic school curricula and the establishment of referral networks involving mental health professionals.</p> <p><a href="https://dailypost.ng/2026/08/26/most-marriages-collapse-from-unrealistic-expectations-islamic-scholars/">Most marriages collapse from unrealistic expectations &#8211; Islamic scholars</a></p>

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